You know something crazy, This march marks my exact 2 years being in this industry. It’s honestly crazy how quick 2 years of my life blinked before my eyes. I have seen many things, been many places, and met many people that I’ll surely never forget.
I’ve recently attended an industry based event in Las Vegas called Hustlaball. I had an overall great night just hanging out and supporting my boys Ricky and Levi while they danced part of the event.
It was an overall amazing night with all my CB family, but I witnessed something that night that absolutely was not okay and to be honest was down right fucking mortifying. I haven’t took the time in a while to express some of the things that have been on my mind, but I feel that I need to talk about this and see if I’m the only one that feels this way.
I respect a lot of people in this industry and most of the time try to keep my share of opinions to myself. But when things occur at an event in which is representing a part of a industry’s image that I am a part of, I feel it have every right to express how I feel about them.
I respect Mr. Pam she’s such great energy, but after seeing what I saw that night it’s sad to say this, but I’m not sure her and I’s conflicting views on things could ever allow us to be friends, or even in the same room anymore. I’ve come to learn 2 things in this industry and that’s 1. Not everyone is going to like you, and 2. You’re not going to like everyone. Pretty simple. & I think I’ve managed a good 2 years keeping a pretty stable line of professionalism when it comes to my personal opinions as well as religious views.
But, where I am at now, is I don’t give fuck. When Mr. Pam cheerfully tied up JD Phoenix up on stage as if that kid was Jesus on the cross, an the fact that he was so willing for what was about to happen next, is just sick. I honestly just don’t see the relevance of being tied up in front of a white sheet, and whipped on your bare back until blood is literally squirting and spraying all over the place. This is not the industry I signed up or not want to associate myself with. I’m ashamed and disgusted to be seen at the same event this went on. Who thought this was a good idea? Honestly, human torture in no way is a form of self expression or sexual desires. ESPECIALLY at a place in which was not S&M based, but instead an award show. There should have been some kind of warning and/or announcement to alert those that would rather not participate in such an act. But, there was not. I saw people literally running to the bathroom to throw up, it was that bad.
If I’m wrong I am so open to hearing your explanations on why you think this IS okay, but below are some graphic images and you can be the judge.
You know I guess it’s just sad, and I’m extremely extremely confused that a person can be so cheerful and happy and laugh as such a inhumane act is going on feet away from them. Isn’t it in our human nature that when we see a person in pain or inflicting self harm, our instinct is to help them? I know no matter what if I agreed to that that I would hope someone would be there to tell this is not a good idea. You know, I guess that’s why we are just a little different at CB, because our best interest is always most important for OUR boss, and never would we be put in a situation that could hurt us both physically and or mentally. Were taught to love ourselves, over all and throughout that process we learn the feeling of self worth. At least I have anyways. I guess that is why allowing such a vulgar and in humane act to be put upon a person, right I front of me, and for people I once respected to sit there and think it’s okay, just really makes me question a lot. I really wish I knew about this before it happened, JD and I don’t really get a long yet I still would have done everything I could have to talk him out of it.
It’s really just sad to be honest. I’m disgusted, confused and overall just questioning If these events are worth it anymore. Not just for my image, but also for the best interest of our company. We worked damn hard for the image we have and personally I just think that it needs to be clarified that on behalf of all of us that we did not nor do not, will ever support the in humane act that occurred on stage that night.
Really would love to hear your opinions on this.
Actually I’d rather not post the photos here on my blog feel free to check them out online.
xo
Max/George
There are two ways I can view this occurrence. A) Everyone actively participating had with full knowledge willingly consented. In that case, the audience’s consent was overlooked and that is an issue. B) It was not fully discussed before making it deplorable and twice as bad of an issue. That said it seems to be the first. Edge play of that level can occur without mistreatment of the receiver. However, in a venue where not everyone is on board with the act, it is dangerous and frankly obsecene. And honestly, if I had seen that sort of thing in an SM play party, I would be interrupting the scene.
Hey Max,
first of all thank you for sharing this post with us. I haven’t heard about this yet, and I have to say I am very shocked. I’m very fond of CockyBoys and all you guys working there, but I don’t really have much knowledge about any other studio. Sure there are few names floating here and there but that’s about it.
Reading this made literally gasp and I can’t believe that actually happened. I mean there’s a line between pain and pleasure and to whip someone in front of crap load of people until he’s bleeding (badly bleeding as I assume from your choice of words) – that’s just insane and inhumane. I can’t believe that no one stepped in to stop that, or that the people from the event didn’t stop that.
What people choose to do behind closed doors is their things and doesn’t concern me at all (most of the time), but to such things to ENTERTAIN a audience – that’s not right, at all. And it makes me doubt both, Mr. Pam and JD.
I’m glad and happy you chose to spoke out and that you take a stand. It takes a lot to do such a thing, especially in the industry you work in. So thank you for that, I’m very proud to be a fan of yours and have you act with such courage. I always admired that about you.
I hope you post with shake some people awake and make them think about what happened and that they have overstepped a boundary with this. And I hope it’ll never happen again.
In this time we’re living… we shouldn’t need to torture each other to entertain us. Not at all. We all should have enough self-respect to say “no” to know this isn’t the right thing to do and I hope you, and all the other CB’s can lead by example!
Once again, thank you, Max!
Much love,
Trixi/Noda_Flake
Oh Max I understand all too well.
During last year’s Grabby’s JD was filmed on the street tied to a lightpost being whipped. I was disgusted beyond all belief. While I have partaken in certain aspects of mild BDSM (which is what JD claimed was going on while he was being whipped. I call bull) it is something that is immensely private.
Whipping or caning is something should be done in an environment that can be completely controlled by the Dom. In a situation such as this, this public venue, the Dom can’t have complete control and it’s simply dangerous. Not just physically but emotionally as well for both parties participating.
The fact that he is doing it to get attention displays clearly that there is something not right with him.
I don’t know if he’s so dependant on attention that he must commit these horrible displays of torture or if he is simply insane.
I can say that your opinion, apparent concern and disgust is a feeling that many of the community share with you.
I have to agree with Brax. I understand that some people like this sort of show and that while JD and Leo were willing participants, I think this was entirely the wrong venue for this display. The audience should have been made aware of what was going to happen before they made the decision to come, especially the ones paying for the privilege. And I’m worried about JD. For more than one reason.
I think you have made a good point here. While I never judge people for their sexual preferences/practices, I don’t understand how that extreme scene is even related to the event you attended. I saw the pics and I cringed. I would have probably been one of those to run to the bathroom as well if I had witnessed it in person. I totally respect their right to participate in extreme BDSM if they want to, but I think there is a time and place for such things. I would agree that if it is in a public event like the one you attended, they should give people a heads up who might not want to witness such a thing. Of course these are just my thoughts and I know everyone might not agree, but I just wanted you to know I understand what you are saying. :)
I think you’re right.everytime i saw that pictures i have to look away because it hurt even me.Seeing it live it must be a lot worse.JD said he like it and he agree to it but his back..is too much and is not the first time he did that.
I guess everyone have their kinks but cheering up this behavior in this kind of events shouldn’t be acceptable.
Thank you for posting this, I completely agree with you, no matter what you are into, taking someone onto a stage and torturing them for few people’s enjoyment is sick. It makes you question not only the people involved but the people who stood around and let it happen. I hope that people read your post and stand with you, sadly we are seeing too much bad in porn, giving into peer pressure, it’s refreshing to see you stand up.
Consent. If it’s fully consensual (which I believe it was) and negotiated, with a safe word, I don’t think it’s wrong. Getting into “subspace” and floating is a truly amazing thing. If you haven’t tried it then it can look much worse than it really is. Having said that…. a public venue with an unsuspecting audience was NOT the right place to play out a scene. I assume Mr Pam & Leo were going for the shock value. It certainly got people talking. That’s not the first time JD has done that & he keeps going back for more so I have to assume he is getting something good out of it. Again….I agree with you that it was not the right place for it.
Wow. I get that some people are into that. It’s not my thing, I don’t understand it, but hey, if that’s your thing who am I to say. HOWEVER, I do not believe that Hustlaball (not that I’ve been) is the kind of place for that type of display. There are hardcore BDSM places where I’m sure people go expecting that. And I would hope there are trained professionals to make sure everyone is safe. Did JD get medical treatment after? Was he drunk or high and therefore should NOT have been consenting? Was Mr. Pam likewise in a condition to be taking someone’s health into her/his (whatever) hands? Was JD making that decision sanely and understanding what it meant? Obviously the audience did NOT expect that and I would have been sick as well.
I get that events like Hustlaball stake their reputation on being bigger and better and “more” than the last one. It’s how they keep people coming who have BTDT seen it all, but there comes a point when you do cross a line and I would say this is it. Should CB withdraw? Well, I don’t attend such events to see models so no skin off my nose and I’d rather a company I support with my hard-earned cash doesn’t somehow profit by associating itself (even indirectly) with an organization that appears to be completely unsafe, tasteless and cruel.
So no, your feelings are not wrong. That was not the time or place for that kind of display, it should have been done elsewhere and in a place where the safety of everyone was guaranteed, not only physical, but mental and emotional. I’m sorry that what was a fun night turned into something that I’m sure will stick with you for a very long time. Hugs.
As always, you are clear-eyed and clear-sighted, Max. Don’t second-guess yourself. We live in an era where, if you refuse to condone a practice that every fiber of your body screams is wrong, you are somehow not open-minded enough. I have read/heard all the nonsense about this stuff. I don’t outright reject BDSM (yeah, well, a lover tries to convince ME that the pain they are inflicting is just pleasure in disguise, they will get their dick yanked off). But sex-tinged TORTURE and blood as romanticism (white sheet) is just disgusting and psychologically wrong on so many levels. I counseled victims of assault for many years, and tying sex and extreme violence in one’s mind (as opposed to simple consensual restraint for example) is dangerous. This mindset tends to escalate – and the participants you witnessed is an example of that statistic. What is terrifying today becomes normal tomorrow, the more you push. And in the end someone ends up damaged psychologically and physically scarred. I have done a lot of thinking lately about what goes on at Hustlaball, and the damage it can do to a very young mind. There are bound to be repercussions in many quarters, eventually. I am grateful that you, Max, whom I have great affection for, are in possession of the common sense that will protect you. xo
Sugar I think any act of S&M in a space where there are uninformed attendees should be proceeded by an announcement so that folks can choose to stay and watch it or not. Every environment I’ve been in where sex or sexual activities were being performed, there was a lot of care to make sure folks knew what was happening ahead of time. S&M (participating in it or viewing it) should always be about consent and respect. I’m sorry that you were put in such an uncomfortable position and that your ability to consent was taken away without warning. People can have really emotional reactions to these kinds of scenes if they aren’t prepared for them and you should always have the option to opt out. As a person in that room, you definitely had a right to opt out and the producers of the show and participants in the scene should have given folks time to realize what was happening and choose to stay or leave (not because there is anything wrong with a consensual S&M scene but because not everyone wants to participate). I don’t think you should make any rash decisions about what kind of people participate in S&M because all kinds of people do for a wide variety of reasons that may or may not make sense to you. The real point is we should all get to consent to something like that (being in it or viewing it) and you didn’t get to until it was already happening. So sorry for you. But I hope you will take some time to talk to the participants to at least get some dialogue going and clarity. Don’t let your first reaction be the only thing you go forward with. As cheesy as it sounds, it can be a learning opportunity for all of you.
I love this post and I couldn’t agree more. It reminds me of that line from FIGHT CLUB “I just felt like destroying something beautiful.” I really like JD but what was the point in getting that elaborate back piece / tatt and then letting it be covered with flecks of scar tissue? In the long term, scar tissue doesn’t hold tattoo ink very well. Anyway – thank you for posting this and not just going along with it to coddle those involved. I don’t promote shit like this – never will.
Great honest article Max,
Honest and raw, and assume you were not the only one in the room to feel that way. People should explore their individual sexuality, we all have the right to sexual freedom, we all have the right to sexual pleasure, expression and equity but equally we all have the right to sexual privacy and individuality and i assume what you described would be more at home @ at Folsom Street Fair type of an event.
Peopel need to move away from the act as i don’t think Max has a problem with people expressing their sexual freedom the time and the place is what Max opined above
The fact that nudity wasn’t allowed at this event but violence was speaks to a bigger problem. The fact that JD consented doesn’t make this okay, especially in a public venue. I saw the pictures and there were streams of blood on the sheet in wide, thick arcs. I worry that JD is dealing with some serious abuse issues if this is where he’s finding pressure and self-worth. There is a difference between submission and abuse. I’m glad you said something because I’ve felt icky about it since seeing it a few days ago. And seeing JD post selfies of his broken back sort of broke my heart.
Max and All,
The trend in gay porn seems to be moving toward extremes in many divergent ways. Thinking back five years ago or so rarely did someone see something other than a twink’, college jock, or muscle guy. Tattoos weren’t as prevalent. Barebacking was taboo. People’s silence and tolerance seems to be taken as consent when it might not be. I think all too often we want to be polite and not speak out about what is troubling to us. I often tell folks close to me I do not get many of the various strains of sexual turn-ons. I’m a boring old fag. I try to tolerate, but like you, Max, I think enough is enough. Even the gay community has lines/standards that should not be violated. Kudos to you for bringing forward this discussion. Perhaps our community can find its center and move together peacefully.
I have so many mixed feelings about this. I was aware it was going to happen because. JD had posted about it about a week before Hustlaball, but I definitely agree with those who say an announcement should have been made in time for people to decide whether they wanted to attend…it was just too intense to spring on people.
My concern for JD is whether his pride in being able to endure pain will become harder and harder to satisfy….will he continue to push his limits until he goes to far and causes himself permanent damage? I sincerely hope not.
During the incident, I was both horrified and intrigued. I had to watch, yet cringed every time JD yelled out in pain. And I did find Mr Pam’s constant smile during the incident irritating and sad.
Did I understand this right- a hard BDSM scene at funky cool Hustlaball? Something doesn’t sound right.
Hi,
I’ve read your blog late last night and I’m still thinking about this. I wouldn’t call this disgusting it’s just different, maybe hard to understand and clearly not everybody’s cup of tea but it still is okay if both agreed and enjoy doing this. BUT it is something very intimate and private and needs lot of trust and control of both therefore I believe it’s just wrong doing it in front of a large audience especially when it’s not announced as bdsm and everyone agreed to attend.
As much as I agree with you on this part, to say you can’t respect these people anymore or stay in the same room might be a bit to harsh. I’m sorry you’ve been confused but after all it’s just a different lifestyle. I’m sorry you’ve been confused
Hello sweet Max.
I feel for you. Witnessing something like this that you hadn’t anticipated must have been awful.
The number one rule in any BDSM play is CONSENT. That applies to the top, the bottom, and anyone watching what’s going on. I think the problem here isn’t what JD and Leo were doing, it’s the fact that the other people there did not consent to seeing it.
I’m slightly concerned at those expressing opinions that there must be “something wrong” or deeper psychological problems that JD is hiding – to be honest, I checked the pictures and I’ve seen worse than this before and snuggled with the sub afterwards. Consensual BDSM is not a bad thing, nor is it domestic abuse. Let JD speak for himself, let his friends and those who know him well be the ones to give him the support he needs, either to express himself sexually like this or to move away from the situation if he’s not happy there.
I think most would agree that any BDSM activity that causes distress for someone involved – and that includes witnesses – was not handled properly. Hopefully the Hustlaball organizers will recognize this and act appropriately?
Hello, I will probably get flack fom this but… I saw the pics and thought nothing was wrong with it. Those events typically recognize people with varied interest. You go there knowing this. Not all will like everything. When you see something that is not for your taste, use it as an opportunity for an extended bathroom break!!! Problem solved.
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Max. I’ve just read your post and I can’t be more agreeing with you. It’s concerning and really worrying that people can truly enjoy that kind of show. I’ve seen the pictures, and I just can’t figure out what kind of human being could do that calling it “pleasure”. There’s a boundaries, and it has really been crossed with that kind of scene. Even more, it’s disrespectful to think that public wasn’t advised about this.
It’s something so concerning and frustrating. I understand you, and I have to say that you have a lot of courage by telling it just like you did. As it seems, not a lot of persons have acted like you -which makes me think in what kind of world are we living right now- and I really appreciate the fact that you have posted it.
Love.
I agree that people should have been warned that such a scene was to take place. No one should be at a (semi?)public function and have to witness something like that. It should be for a back, private area.
However, though I don’t personally subscribe to the practice, there are many out there who find such displays very erotic. The problem I have is that it didn’t sound like a very professional, or tasteful scene. It also sounds like it went against the BDSM community’s mantra of ‘Safe, Sane, and Consensual’. Sounds more like a graphic display for shock value.
The point to remember, in this case, is this. At a function like ‘Hustlaball’, where so many different lifestyles are being displayed, what’s one more? I don’t believe that your company, or you, are tainted in any way by it. Your presence doesn’t make you…complicit? And having an opinion doesn’t make you unprofessional.