“Through BREAKDOWNS there’s BREAKTHROUGHS.”
As a lot of you know, recently I took a break from social media… it was the hardest thing to do, but I needed to get my mind back to being realistic. I love my job, and I love my fans… without having your support I wouldn’t be where I am today, so having a guy have the power to take me away from those who care most for 11 days was stupid. I had a very scary reality check over something and someone that I shouldn’t have. I’m sharing this with you, so you can hopefully learn from my mistakes, and unfortunately I can’t say this will keep you from experiencing your own, but hopefully provide a better way to deal and cope!
Most of you probably don’t know that I have been in a relationship for the past 9 months. These past months have been some of the best days of my life, but also some of the worst. I was in a relationship with someone who didn’t have integrity or honor their WORD. Now I bet you’re like wtf does that mean? Well, your WORD is all a person really has at the end of the day. So, keeping promises, or being honest are examples of honoring your word. Now, my ex was not a bad guy, just incredibly flawed. I loved him more than anyone I’ve ever dated my whole life, and at the same time I felt like he loved me more than anyone in my life ever did. But, he could never keep any of his promises, and would lie over the stupidest things. This break of trust and dishonesty caused me to be very on edge in the relationship & It caused me to become a very negative person. Always assuming the worse, always trying to JUSTIFY when he was wrong or lied etc etc. It killed me inside, and I started to live in a world of FEAR. The Fear of not knowing what his intentions were, or Fear if he was being honest… It really killed me. But, I stayed in the relationship even though each day I was becoming more unhappy and less positive. I wanted to trust him. But he just could never be honest with me. To me being honest is not that hard of a thing to do and quite frankly there is no excuse good enough for when you lie. For him there was always a reason good enough. & blinded by his “love” I always believed him. Even when he was wrong or did get caught in a lie, he would deny it and basically make me prove it to him EVEN THOUGH he was well aware of what he did. He basically made me feel like I was always wrong and crazy, & I hated it. My mind became my own worst enemy.
Recently, I had a couple days where I partied too hard and ended up staying up for 3 days… I ended up going through his phone, I came across a conversation with a friend of his since he was younger. I never questioned this guy or anything cause he’s “straight” actually has a gf and everything, and the conversation didn’t add up. Short story is, the messages added up to him secretly meeting up with this “friend” while this guys girlfriend wasn’t around etc etc. I found out. He denied it. I begged him to just tell me the truth… he never did. Still is denying it. & I’m the one who’s wrong blah blah blah. He cheated on me.
That night I think was the worst night of my life. I’ve never cried or hurt so much. It was weird that someone had the ability to cause me so much pain. Especially someone that I thought sincerely cared about and loved me. It sucked. I felt alone. I felt crazy. & on top of it I was confused. I didn’t get any questions answered. I don’t think I ever will. All I wanted was the truth, but that was too hard for him.
Needless to say, I handled the situation very stupidly. To get back on track Jake Jaxson gave me the greatest gift ever… THE LANDMARK FORUM. It’s a 4 day extensive seminar course, that helps break old patterns, help you accept the past and love yourself. A lesson I got out of the forum and I wish I knew in the beginning was that you’re own well-being should ALWAYS be your number one priority. I was afraid because of my job or lifestyle, that I’d never find anyone again that could love and support me like he did, but was stupid because in the process I started believing I needed someone to be happy. & that is not the case. If you’re in a relationship and start changing for the worse, It’s time to remove yourself from the situation no matter how hard it is. Or how much you love them. You are your first priority. & REMEMBER, You can’t love somebody else, if you don’t love yourself.
xx
Maaax
Tips to SURVIVE your first heartbreak.
- Surround yourself with positive loving friends- This will help you not feel alone during the process. Remember they love you too.
- Stay Positive- Your mind is your most powerful asset. It can take you to some of the darkest places. Stay realistic and in control of whats reality and what is a made up story in your head.
- Get a haircut- Dealing with the end of relationships most people are most afraid of the CHANGE. So do something different, pull a britney and cut it off.
- Start a Journal- This helped me the most. Writing down how I felt and all of my emotions, worked as a release rather than bottling all the emotions inside.
- FORGIVE- “RESENTMENT is like drinking poison and hoping the other person will die.” Holding grudges and staying upset is the absolutely worst way to handle the situation. Realize you had NO control over the situation, and there was nothing you could have done to prevent it. It’s not your fault. & if it is, FORGIVE yourself.
Thank you for sharing. You know I was beat, stabbed and emotionally abused by an ex and I kept going back everytime he said he was sorry and that it would not happen again. A friend finally rescued me and I learned a life lesson. I am a changed person. Again thanks for sharing ur experience so that it may help others.
All my best to you Max and you are very fortunate to have some older people in your life who can help. I am thinking of Jaxon of course but also the whole Cockyboys family.
Is exactly what happens to me with my ex. He wasn’t able to stop lying. even when i have proves of his lies he keeps defending himself. And i forgive him everything.
I wasn’t strong enough and had to be him who leave me but, well, now i know i’m better without him.
Thanks for sharing this with us Max and i’m really glad you are better now :).
Max…I’m so sorry you had to go through this. You didn’t deserve such a thing. This brought me to tears…really. I can see how much you loved him. Too bad he couldn’t appreciate you and your love! Just think he’s the one who lost, I bet he would never find a guy as sweet and beautiful as you! :)
Maybe you’ll think I’m being mean but your ex and that guy deserve each other…they’re two cheaters after all. Remember what comes around goes around. Who knows if he will taste his own venom one day…!
Your advices are precious for these who unfortunately are experiencing the same thing. Thanks for sharing :)
For certain, if you don’t respect yourself nobody else will either. And part of respecting yourself is recognizing that you deserve a good, honest, respectful relationship and that you don’t have to settle for somebody who takes advantage of you in whatever way.
First of all I wanna thank you for sharing your story and your thoughts with us, Max. I can imagine it’s been both relieving and hard to write this Blog post.
To be caught in such a relationship it’s awful and I hate when people lie – especially even more when you catch them doing it and still they don’t have the balls to admit it. But some people don’t have enough character to do so. Instead they use to shift the fault, they switch and turn situations and conversation so that in the end you, yourself, are the bad one and not them.
I think honesty and trust is the source of every relationship – no matter which kind. And if that’s not given, not possible it’s hard to retain a healthy state of mind. I’ve been where you are, not exact the same situation but a lot of what you’ve just wrote sounded so familiar to me.
But I am also happy to see that you got out of this relationship and that you have people by your side who’re helping you, who’re reminding you of what’s the truth. People love you, people truly love you and they care for you!
Coming out of a life-changing-situation on a positive note is the best thing that can happen. The road after is tough and it’s rocky, once you destroyed the love you had for yourself, destroyed all the self-confidence you once had – rebuilding takes forever, but with help, with love and support from friends/family everything’s possible.
Every person that comes into our lives is a lesson – some in another way as others. And some come to remind us about what’s important, about what we should never forget. To love ourselves and trust in ourselves. Love sometimes blinds us for what’s clear and right in front of us.
But important is…such relationships/break-ups – they’re not the end. There’s always something after. There’s always a new tomorrow and there’s someone in the world waiting for all of us and when the time is right, and we’re ready we all will meet this one person. And so will you, Max. I truly believe in that.
“Just because something isn’t happening for you right now, doesn’t mean that it’ll never happen!” – Jeremiah 29:11
I think good things fall apart so even greater things can fall together and you’ve learned a big deal about yourself from this relationship and also from this break up. So this guy has been another lesson in your life. I think it’s important to never lose the positivity in all things – even the bad ones. You’re a very strong young man, Max!
And how did P!nk say,
“Just a second we’re not broken just bent
And we can learn to love again
It’s in the stars
It’s been written in the scars on our hearts
We’re not broken just bent
And we can learn to love again!”
You’re a brave young man Max. Hugs to you, don’t let it harden your heart and you’re lucky to have JJ in your life!
XO
Max, you are awesome, never forget that. You put yourself out there so much that its obvious how important honesty and integrity are to you and you should expect nothing less from the person that you end up with. You are still so young, the man that you will spend the rest of your life with is out there, ready to treat you the way you deserve to be treated.
You are incredible and thank you for sharing such a personal part of your life with all of us. I’m older than you and it took me a long time to learn what you have. I was one of those guys that loved the person so much that I believed they could and would change. I ended up hurting myself more by taking them back again and again until finally I had nothing left in me to give and it turned me into a very ugly person. Looking back now, I can see why I did what I did and thankfully I am in a much happier place now.
Just always know that you are loved, no matter what. I know we are all just fans but we love you too. I also know that you have amazing people in your life, which I’m so thankful for, don’t ever be afraid to lean on them it’s what friends are for.
Love you man and thanks again for sharing.
I’m so glad to know that everything worked out for the better for you Max.
Not everyone has had to deal with this horrible situation and some who do don’t make it out. I’m very glad that you had the courage to let everyone in, a chance I didn’t have when I went through the same thing. You are truly an inspiration for our community.
:)
Max, this was so moving. I truly feel for you. I’ve had a similar situation before in my life, and I can say that you probably handled this better than I did. I wish I had had someone say these things to me then! But you are so brave and wonderful to share your experience and your insight with us all. I’m proud of you – I think you are on the path to healing and ultimately finding someone who deserves your trust and your love.
Thank you for posting this! <333
Thanks for sharing with us Max. You are totally correct about having to love yourself before you can love others. I am truly sorry that you had to go through and endure a situation of this calibur at your young age. But thankful that Jax gave you that wonderful gift so that you could get back on the right track. I support ya in all you do whether you are an adult entertainment performer or not pal. Take care of yourself and HUGE HUG for ya.
Hon,
I totally understand where you are coming from.. a couple a years ago the same thing happened to me. Thank you for sharing your story. know that you are not alone. Know that HIS actions reflect poorly on HIM, not you.
Hugs.
So happy that you’ve been through a dark place and emerged into bright sunlight on the other side. The takeaway here is that relationships are important and sometimes wonderful, but we shouldn’t take ANYONE so seriously that we forget all about ourselves and our legitimate self interest and self esteem.
Congrats to Jake J. for having the sensitivity and insight for sending you to the Landmark forum at just the right time. Max you have such keen intelligence and moral sensitivity you’re a great role model for us all of any age.
Here’s hoping you go ONWARD AND UPWARD from here, and keep relationships in perspective even as you achieve your long term dreams!
Thanks for being so open and sharing your story. Wish you all the best!
Hugs
Thank you for sharing as your thoughts and words have impacted me profoundly. Your words are powerful and eloquent. YOU have a beautiful soul. And congrats for having Jake who cares! Hugs!
Thanks for being so open.
Sounds like he was kind of a sociopath no ? Always putting himself first and gaslighting you. You actually seem like a good guy, and in the world you live in you are going to keep attracting people like that. You seem like prey. In the same vein, be very careful with Jake Bass. Do not trust him. He will do anything to get where he wants to get. I can see that just from his interviews and the way he treats you there, humiliating you and others in public. He is dangerous.