If there is one thing that really annoys the hell out of me and happens to be the BIGGEST turn off, It’s when you just meet someone you’re interested in & the first thing they ask is:
“Are you a TOP or BOTTOM?”!
Honestly, in my opinion that should be the last thing you ask… It’s a little forward and I mean if the guy really is interested in YOU and not what’s in your pants, then that should be the last thing on his mind… UNLESS you are on GRINDR & looking just for a hump and dump lol.
But the only reason I am bringing this up is because recently a guy I liked, specifically was like “I’m 150% a bottom”… & it wasn’t that he was a bottom that made me double think things, because in all reality if I like someone enough I’d be willing to adapt to fulfill any of their needs, but It was the fact that he limited himself and wasn’t willing to adapt and try something new for the sake of a potential relationship.
ANYWAYS, all I’m saying is that chances are if you go into a relationship with SEX as the main factor then it’s NOT going to last… & how IRONIC that’s coming from a guy that has sex for a living o.O
Oh and don’t LIMIT yourself… #TEAMVERSATILE ; ) It keeps things interesting.
6 Responses to “TOP or BOTTOM?”
Leave a Reply
I totally agree!! This is something that bothers me too. I think that if you are with someone in a relationship, then together you will both have fun discovering each other. It will be an experience that brings you together after having the foundation knowing and liking each other (other than physically).
Honestly, I might as well have written this blog post myself — I seriously complain to my friends about this ALL of the time. Why do I have to choose whether or not I’m a top or a bottom to keep a guy’s interest? Shouldn’t we, especially as gay men, not be trying to put everyone in these little definitive boxes?
I agree 100%!
Your sex life is much more fun when you don’t limit yourself!
I consider myself to be a bottom and prefer only to bottom, but I absolutely agree with you. While, bottom is my preference, it’s not going to keep me from exploring those things that make my partner happy. Relationships and sex are about compromise…it’s a give and take. You have to be willing to give of yourself if you expect someone else to do the same thing.
I also think people, especially gays, put too much emphasis on sex. Don’t get me wrong, I love sex, but that shouldn’t be the foundation of your relationship. Get to know that person, what the like, what they don’t and what makes them happy. Allow sex to be the “icing on the cake” so to speak. It’s the reward for having found a great person to share your time with.
Besides if you’re just looking to hit it and quit it…there’s an app for that! LOL
I agree and versatile is best and even if a person is a bit more of a top or bottom, should be willing to try to try both. and it’s more of a question that should be asked down the road. and sorry to hear about this guy you liked max hugs.
I love this conversation and so far agree with everything here stated.
As someone in a long term open relationship I can attest that versatility has been key to maintaining an active interesting relationship with my bf of 9 years. We were not always open btw, and have over the years really switched our roles a lot. Currently I bottom for him most of the time but I do love the days the energy is reversed. It makes me feel capable as a top to get him off that way and also other boys. I tend to be 50/50 when outside the relationship. I will also say that over the years I have been insecure at times about these roles and it has been helpful not to categorize myself strictly one way or the other. At least for me, sexuality is fluid and changes over time. I can honestly say I
have gotten better at both with practice. :-)